PREPARING FOR A BAR/BAT MITZVAH
You’ve got this. And you’ve got us.
No need to get overwhelmed. This may be your first Bar or Bat Mitzvah, but we’ve done this many, many times. So we wrote out a step-by-step manual, called (unsurprisingly) Beth El Fairfield’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah Handbook.
It has everything we can think of — check out the table of contents below — and answers every question we’ve been asked. But if you can think of one we missed, please don’t hesitate to contact us. We’re here to help, every step of the way.
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Introduction
- Message From The Rabbi
- Message From Dr. Stinson
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Learning
- Foundation
- Commitment
- Overall Expectations
- Family Seminars
- Meeting with the Rabbi
- Studying with the Hazzan
- Private Tutoring
- Individual Mitzvah Projects
- Tallit and Tefillin
- Students With Special Needs
- Parents’ Jewish Education
- Post-Bar/Bat Mitzvah Education
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Ceremonies
- The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Week
- Monday and Thursday Mornings 7:30 – 8:00 am
- Friday Morning 7:30 – 8:00 am
- Friday Evening 6:00 – 6:45 pm
- Saturday Morning 10:00 am – 1:00 pm
- Ritual Honors
- Special Family Honors
- Non-Hebrew Speakers/Readers
- Non-Jewish Family Members
- D’var Torah
- Presentations
- Guests With Special Needs
- Beth El’s Gift Shop
- What if I still have questions?
- The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Week
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Sanctuary Etiquette
- Dress Code
- Young Children
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Celebrations
- Parties or Other Celebrations
- Sharing S’machot
- Invitations
- Program Booklets
- Facilities
- Food
- Music
- Flowers
- Kippot
- Photography
- Bus Transportation
- Deliveries
- Tzedakah
- Wall Of Life Plaque
- The Beth El Bulletin
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Eligibility
- Religious School Attendance Requirements
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Financial Obligations and Misc. Expenses
- Requisite Expenses
- Customary Expenses
- Optional Expenses
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Conclusion: Mazal Tov!
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Appendices:
- Event Planning Timeline
- Honors Form (Kibbudim)
- Aliyot Instructions
- Torah Blessings
- Habgah Instructions
- Gelilah Instructions
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Glossary
Tutoring. Be ready and confident for the big day.
While our Religious School program teaches the children the bulk of the skills they need to master for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, each student has a unique Torah and Haftarah portion that requires individual preparation above and beyond the time that we have during Religious School hours. The amount of individual preparation will vary depending on the abilities, attitude, and parental support of each student.
Individual private tutoring on a weekly basis is customary and generally begins approximately nine to twelve months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. Each week, progress will be evaluated and a specific goal will be established for the forthcoming week. Additionally, a private meeting with Rabbi Ratner to assess/check-in will be scheduled approximately every four weeks.
We look forward to working with your entire family in the year to come. Please know that we will make ourselves completely available to you during this process. Feel free to contact us at any time.
To begin, your family and the Rabbi will together select an individual tutor for your child. Our synagogue’s tutors are experienced and dedicated, and are an integral part of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process. While the fee for a tutor is the responsibility of the family, we have tutors at all fee levels.
PLEASE NOTE: In addition to the time spent with the tutor, you and your child should plan to set aside 15 minutes every day for practice.
If you are interested in having tutoring begin prior to a year before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, please contact clergy.